


For A Smile They Can Share The Night

by 71tenseventeen



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, reference to past homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 10:10:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16015739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/71tenseventeen/pseuds/71tenseventeen
Summary: Sidney doesn't know what he's looking for. At least not until he finds it.





	For A Smile They Can Share The Night

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to Alia and Ljummen for your encouragement and help on this fic.

                                                     

 

 

Sid wakes at dawn.

He doesn’t particularly want to be awake but his brain isn’t getting the memo. He tosses and turns for a few minutes before admitting defeat. He tries to rouse Sam but even she just lifts her head and wuffles at him before burrowing back under the covers until all he can see of her is her tail. With a sigh, he shuffles off to start coffee.

He glances at his phone; It’s almost eight in Cole Harbor, he could probably call Mom back. She left a message yesterday which means she’ll call again today if he doesn’t call her back but he pushes his phone away and opts to fill the dishwasher first. After that he busies himself doing laundry and sweeping the porch.

It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to her. Of course he does, of course he misses his family. But lately any time they talk, she has so many questions. She asks about his plans, asks why he moved to Florida when Pittsburgh didn’t work out and why an island so far south? Isn’t he ready to come home yet?

He doesn’t know how to tell her that Cole Harbor was suffocating him, that even though Montreal and Minneapolis and Pittsburgh didn’t work out for him, that doesn’t mean he’s coming back. He doesn’t know what to say when she asks what he’s doing, what he’s looking for because he doesn’t know the answer to that himself. He doesn’t know how to tell her that even if this place doesn’t work out, Cole Harbor won’t be his next stop, that he might visit but he doesn’t want to live there.

He just doesn’t know how to say any of that to her so he ignores his phone and does the housework and waits for Sam to wake up.

It takes her another hour to be interested in getting up but once she does it doesn’t take any convincing to get her to come along with Sid on a morning run. They’ve only been here a few months but the route is familiar to them both. Sid was lucky enough to find a tiny bungalow on a private beach with the next house being a quarter mile away but with all the trees, it’s not visible until he’s right up on it. Not that it matters—it’s not in great condition and has sat empty the entire time Sid has been here. He likes it, likes the privacy even if sometimes he thinks it’d be nice to have a friendly neighbor.

They’ve run this route enough times that they could probably both run it in their sleep. Sam frolics around the edge of the water and catches up to Sid every couple of minutes. Occasionally he throws her favorite tennis ball as far out ahead of him as he can manage and she chases after it happily, resurfacing after just a minute or two. It’s a comfortable routine.

He winds up to throw the black and yellow ball and watches her bound off into the trees before it even has a chance to hit the ground. And that’s when he hears someone curse. “Ow! Что за черт?!”

“Shit.” Sid takes off in the direction of the voice. It only takes him a moment to find the source directly in front of the run down house, a man with dark hair and dark, amused eyes crouching next to Sam as she nudges the ball out of his hand. Sid skids to a stop and puts his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was here.”

The man stands and brushes sand off of his basketball shorts before extending his hand. “Evgeni. I just move in.” His expression is cautious but his words are polite enough.

“Sidney. I live a quarter mile that way,” he says, throwing his thumb over his shoulder. “That’s Sam. Sorry about the ball. I hope it didn’t hurt you.”

Evgeni snorts. “Not too much. Just surprise to have ball come out of nowhere and then big dog run at me. But she good dog, very polite, not trample.”

“God no, she’s a good girl.”

Sam trots past Sid and back towards the water’s edge. “I guess that’s my cue. Listen, I’ve only been here a few months but if you need to know anything about town, let me know. I’ll try to help.”

“Thank. I think I’m good to go but will keep in mind. Nice to meet you, Sidney.”

Sid recognizes it for the dismissal that it is and gives a wave before heading back off towards Sam.

After dinner Sid cleans up and then walks with Sam to the water’s edge to throw the ball around for awhile. He smiles as he watches her jump around in the surf and chase whatever tiny fish she sees below the surface. When she tires herself out they walk out on the boat slip and sit at the end of the long dock, watching the sunset together.

Sid tries to gather his thoughts and wonders not for the first or last time what it is he’s looking for, what it is he wants. He’s no closer to figuring it out when he looks over and spots what has to be Evgeni’s silhouette walking along the water’s edge in the distance. Sid can’t make out much, can really only tell that it seems like he’s walking in the opposite direction of Sid and that his shoulders are hunched. Sid hopes having a neighbor doesn’t cramp his style but he supposes if it does it won’t matter much. He’ll move on eventually anyhow.

Contrary to cramping his style, Sid barely even sees his new neighbor and other than a quick wave here and there, usually when he’s on his morning run. He wonders if he should just bring over a housewarming gift or something but Evgeni hasn’t exactly given any indication that he’s up for visitors. Sid’s not really sure what he’d bring anyhow. By the time a few weeks have passed, he doesn’t know any more about his new neighbor than he had the day they met.

He doesn’t actually speak to Evgeni again until a month has passed. He’s out on his normal morning run and Sam is bounding around, just like she usually does. Sid can see Evgeni is out working on his back deck and he throws up a quick wave. Evgeni gives a nod in Sid’s direction and goes back to his work. Normally, Sid doesn’t even pause his run, just keeps going.

Except today there are loons.

It’s not unusual to see the birds but it is unusual to see a whole flock of them several yard ahead. So unusual that Sam loses her composure entirely and before Sid can even react she’s bounding out of the shallows.

Sid doesn’t change his course, trusting her to watch where she’s going. It’s a mistake. “Sam, no! Sam—Whoa! WhOAA!!” She hits his leg so hard it knocks him sideways and the next thing he’s aware of is the fact that he’s laying on the beach with a face full of sand.

“Ughhh,” he groans and slowly pushes himself up, trying to shake the sand out of his face and quickly discovers that there is sand _everywhere_. It’s all over his hands and in his hair. His whole front side must be covered but it’s hard to tell because he can’t wipe it out of his eyes. “Sam,” he starts, wanting to scold her but he has to stop and spit sand off of his lips. He swears he’s never buying her a new toy again.

Before he can figure out what to do, there’s a voice. Deep and with an unforgettable accent. “Sidney! You okay?”

“Evgeni?” Sid blinks in the direction of the voice and winces. “Ugh, I have sand in my eyes.”

A big body is next to him then. “Keep eyes closed, need to rinse out. You okay? Hurt anywhere?”

Sid takes stock. His palms and knees both feel scraped but other than that he’s pretty sure it’s just his dignity that took the biggest hit. “I don’t think so. Some scrapes maybe? Nothing major.”

“All right. I’m help you up now, want you to keep eyes closed.”

Sid does as he’s told and hopes his neighbor is trustworthy as he’s led in the direction of Evgeni’s house. “I can’t leave Sam out here.”

“She right here.” As if on cue, Sid feels her brush against his leg.

“She’s never done that before. I can’t believe she knocked me over.”

“I see whole thing. Big flock of loons. You had no hope,” he says and Sid thinks he hears a hint of laughter in his voice.

Sid does his best not to be a baby as Evgeni doctors him up. The hardest part is rinsing out his eyes at what he assumes is Evgeni’s kitchen sink. Over and over until he can finally see again and then he heads back out to the deck to finish de-sanding himself. Once all the sand is dusted off and washed away, Evgeni brings out a first aid kid and sits down across from Sid. “Give me hand?”

Sid stares for a moment at the very large hand that’s been extended to him before he offers up his own. Evgeni is gentle but efficient making sure Sid’s knees and palms are cleaned and applying ointment and band-aids to a couple of scrapes that actually drew blood. Sid watches his careful hands. “You’re good at this.”

Evgeni shrugs and turns Sid’s hand over in his to check the fingers. “Used to coach little kids hockey. Lots of little injury.”

“No way, you coached hockey?” Sid lights up. “I love hockey.”

“Yes?” Evgeni glances up at him. “You play?”

“Sure. Off and on the whole time I was growing up, when we could afford it.”

“I do same at home in Russia. Who you root for now?” Evgeni raises his eyebrow and this feels like a watershed moment.

“Pens.”

A slow smile spreads across Evgeni’s face. “Was worry for a second that I help dirty Flyers fan.”

Sid throws his head back and laughs, delighted. “That would be terrible.”

“Would have to take back band-aids. Maybe throw sand at you.” He’s grinning, tongue poking through his teeth.

“No one could blame you,” Sid says on another laugh as he holds up his hand to look at it. “So what do you think? Am I going to make it?”

Evgeni wobbles his hand back and forth but there’s a sparkle in his eye. “Was touch and go for moment but I think you recover.”

“Thank you for helping me. I’m sure I looked ridiculous.”

Evgeni grins at him. “Well, definitely was sight to see but I’m glad you okay.”

Sid feels his cheeks heating up and he should get back to his run but he kind of wants to just stay here. “So, you’ve been fixing this place up, eh? The deck is looking great.”

“Thanks. Is a lot of work but I think, is good project, keep me busy, I make it my own.”

“Definitely. Hey if you ever need help with something, I’m happy to try to help. I used to help my Dad with stuff like this when I was growing up.”

“Careful, might take you up on that.”

After that, Sid loses track of how long they sit there talking. It’s not until his stomach is growling and Sam is whining for her breakfast that he stands to go .”Thanks again, you know, for helping me out.”

“Of course. Is what good neighbor would do,” he says.

Sid says his goodbyes but as he makes his way down the beach back towards home he hears Evgeni call after him, “Watch out for loon!”

Sid laughs the rest of the way home.

After that it feels a little easier to approach Evgeni and somehow, over time they develop something of a routine. Evgeni is almost always outside when Sid runs so Sid usually waves when he runs past the first time and stops to chat on his way back. Evgeni is guarded—they talk about things like his house renovation and hockey but anytime they approach anything that seems too personal, Evgeni backs off so Sid doesn’t push.

The thing is, Sid is really starting to look forward to their daily chats. Maybe they don’t talk about anything too deep or personal but it’s nice just having someone to talk to again. And Evgeni is _interesting_. He’s funnier than Sid ever would have imagined and so smart. It’s nothing for him to rattle off some interesting fact about a bird flying by or one of the many plants he’s potted around his back deck.

It’s only accidentally that Sid learns he used to teach in Moscow. It slips out while he’s telling Sid all about the cordyline he planted. Sid is amazed at his knowledge and can’t help asking, “How do you remember all of this? It’s amazing.”

Evgeni grins and moves on to the next plant. “Used to be botanist, taught at University in Moscow. Plants very interesting to me, you know? Make it easier to learn about them and remember.”

“I had no idea,” Sid says, smiling. “Moscow, huh? What’s that like?”

Evgeni’s smile fades as he turns his back to Sid. “Is… difficult. Where you grow up?” And Sid knows they won’t be talking about Moscow any more today.

“Oh, um, a little town called Cole Harbor in Nova Scotia.”

Evgeni looks interested when he glances up. “Canada? I thought maybe i hear little bit accent.”

“Yeah, Canada.”

“What you do there?”

“I owned a gym, did personal training. You know—fitness, nutrition, all that.”

“Sounds interesting.”

“It is. I mean it was. I just… Back there, the types of clients I was getting were just hard to deal with after awhile.”

“So you quit?”

“Yup. Sold the business, left all that behind.”

“Is how you end up here?”

Sid doesn’t begin to know how to explain everything that happened between Cole Harbor and here so he just shrugs. “Something like that. It’s complicated.”

Evgeni nods. “Yeah. I’m understand that.” And he sounds like he really does.

 

A few weeks after the loon incident, Sid helps Evgeni demo some old walls and install a new support beam before resheeting the remaining walls. It takes the better part of a week and Evgeni is frustrated when Sid won’t accept any kind of payment for helping.

“Sid, come on. Was almost a whole week of work.”

Sid shrugs. “I didn’t do it for money. I did it to help you out. Besides, you bought dinner every night.” It’s true. Evgeni had ordered takeout that they ate out on the deck every night when they finished up work for the day.

“And you buy lunch every day so dinner not count.”

“You’re not paying me.”

“You stubborn,” Evgeni says, with a glare and Sid figures that’s the end of it.

It’s not.

Sid probably shouldn’t be surprised when Evgeni shows up at his door the next evening, arms weighed down with bags.

“Evgeni?”

“I make dinner and bring for thank you.” He tips his chin up defiantly and Sid laughs.

“Now who’s stubborn, hm?”

“You make me stand here all night?”

Sid sighs but he can’t hold back his smile. “Come in.”

In the kitchen Sid watches wide-eyed as Evgeni unpacks what must be at least ten tupperware dishes. “Oh my god! How much did you make?”

Evgeni shrugs. “Make you Russian feast and…” He trails off and pulls one last container, a cardboard box that has the name of a bakery in town printed on the side. Evgeni opens it with something of a flourish and a smug grin. “You say cheesecake your favorite so I get one with many flavor. In case you hate all the rest of the food,” and he looks cheeky as he says it.

“Okay first of all, I won’t hate the rest of the food. And second…” Sid pulls the cheesecake closer to himself. “You’ll be lucky to get any of this.”

Evgeni laughs. “We see. Where you keep plates?”

They eat on Sid’s back deck this time, at the little table with an umbrella that he keeps out there. There’s still enough natural light to see well but the heat of the day has passed and it’s nice, sitting in the breeze.

“This food is amazing,” Sid says, halfway through his second serving of khinkali. “Where did you learn to cook like this?”

He shrugs. “Mama teach me. Grow up learning, you know?”

“Remind me to thank her if I ever meet her.”

Something dark passes over Evgeni’s face and Sid changes the subject. “So did you live anywhere else in the states before here?” And they settle back into more comfortable conversation.

It’s long past the time the sun has set when they finally make their way back into the kitchen and start packing up the leftovers. Evgeni pauses as they work side by side and says quietly, “Should call me Zhenya.”

“Oh. That’s like a nickname, right?”

Evgeni—Zhenya looks a little surprised but pleased. “Yes. In Russia, friends call by this name. I think we friends now, yes?”

Sid catches his gaze and there’s a lot going through his mind right now but he just says softly, “I hope so.”

Zhenya holds his gaze a little longer. His smile is a little subdued but it makes Sid feel warm inside.

After a moment or two Zhenya ducks his head and goes back to packing up the leftovers. He takes it upon himself to put half of them in Sid’s fridge and he lingers there for a moment.

Sid’s not sure what changed but Zhenya gets quiet after that. Sid offers him a drink, asks if he wants to watch some hockey highlights and for a second he thinks Zhenya is considering it as he looks around Sid’s living room.

But then he takes a deep breath and his expression is guarded again, in a way it hasn’t been for weeks. “Is getting late. Need to get home.”

“Oh. Right, sure. Well, thank you, Zhenya, for dinner. It was great.”

“You’re welcome, Sidney.”

The next morning Zhenya’s outside when Sid runs past the first time and even returns his wave but when Sid comes back around, he’s gone. After that, it’s hit and miss. Sometimes Zhenya’s outside and they chat but it’s more like when they first met again, careful and cautious.

Sid’s not sure what to make of it. That night at his house had felt like a turning point, like maybe there could be something more between them and if he’s being honest with himself, that’s exactly what he was hoping for. But that’s not something he can force and if Zhenya needs to keep him at arm’s length to be comfortable, then Sid can deal with that.

Still, the whole experience has made him realize that maybe he misses hopeful thrill of being with someone who could be more than a friend.

That’s probably why he finds himself at the Blue Flamingo on a Friday night a few weeks later. He’s been here before and it’s more comfortable for him than the other gay bars in the area, a more relaxed atmosphere and less frenetic pace. Plus the drinks are good and they make a killer coconut shrimp so even if he doesn’t meet anyone, he’s got that to look forward to.

Once he’s seated and placed his drink order, he scans the crowd. It’s not too busy yet but it’s not deserted, either. It’s one of the things he likes about the place—you can breathe but there are still people around. Despite living here for months now, he hasn’t really gotten to know many people so he doesn’t expect to see anyone he knows. That’s probably why it’s so surprising when his gaze lands on a pair of dark, familiar eyes.

Zhenya.

He wonders for a moment if Zhenya will shy away like he has been but he smiles when he sees Sid, raises his glass in a hello. Sid gives a little wave and tips his head back, inviting Zhenya over. For a second he thinks Zhenya will say no but then he’s making his way to Sid’s booth with a soft smile.

“Hey Sid, not expect I see you here.”

Sid grins and motions to the seat across from him. “They have the best coconut shrimp, you know? Want to join me?”

Zhenya looks thoughtful for a moment but then he slides into the seat across from Sid. “Coconut shrimp?”

Sid grins. “It’s my favorite thing on the menu.”

“Maybe I try. Usually get lobster puff. You try it before?”

Sid shakes his head. “I don’t get out very often, I guess. Maybe I’ll try them tonight.”

“Good plan. We order lobster puff and coconut shrimp and share, yes?”

And just like that Sid finds himself having dinner with Zhenya again.

It’s nice and the conversation flows in a way it hasn’t in a few weeks. Zhenya is so funny, Sid can’t remember the last time he laughed so much. Or the last time he liked someone so much. Everything is going so well and maybe it’s that or the relaxed buzz his drink has left him with but when Zhenya smiles at him over their empty plates and says, “This fun, Sid. Glad I run into you tonight,” Sid decides to take a chance.

Smiling shyly he reaches over and rests his hand gently on Zhenya’s. “Me too. Zhenya, I— I like you.”

In an instant, Zhenya’s expression shuts down and he pulls his hand away. “Not okay with this Sid.”

Sid pulls his hand back as quickly as if he’d been burned and drops his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to— I’m really sorry.”

Zhenya sighs. “I like you too and think about you a lot but can’t do this,” he says, motioning between them and Sid feels his cheeks grow hot with the shame of rejection. “Can’t be side thing, Sid.”

Sid looks up, confused. “What?”

“Not judging you, okay? Just, for me, need to be only one.”

“I… I don’t understand.” Sid shakes his head. “Only one? You think… You think I’m with someone?” Sid is so confused.

“Very obvious you are, I see pictures of pretty girl all over your living room, on your fridge. Hard to deny, Sid.”

“Pictures… Wait. You mean Taylor?”

Zhenya shrugs. “I not want to ask her name when I realize. She know you do this, Sid?”

“Zhenya, I’m gay. I don’t have a girlfriend. Taylor is my _sister._ ”

Zhenya opens his mouth to reply and then snaps it shut. Sid watches pink heat slowly creep up his cheeks as he drops his mouth open again to speak and nothing comes out. “Sister?” He finally croaks out.

“Yeah. My kid sister.” Sid turns on his phone and shows Zhenya the home screen. Sid and Taylor together as kids.

Zhenya stares at it, speechless for a moment before clearing his throat. “Feeling most stupid right now, Sid,” he says, avoiding Sid’s eyes and maybe Sid should be annoyed but all he feels is relief as a grin lights up his face.

“Oh my god, you thought I was dating my sister?” He giggles, then, covering his mouth with his hand.

“How I supposed to know?” Zhenya retorts, a little defensive but holding back his own smile just before they both dissolve into laughter.

Eventually their snickers die down and Zhenya smiles over at Sid. “I’m so sorry, Sid. Make big assumption.”

Sid’s smile falls away and he sits up straighter as understanding hits him. “That’s why you left that night after dinner. I didn’t know what you were looking at. You thought...Oh my god, you must have thought I was such a jerk!”

Zhenya shrugs. “Not jerk but… Also not a situation I’m interested in. Sorry now I didn’t ask.”

Sid sighs. “It’s okay. I could have probably told you but you usually seem uncomfortable when the subject of family comes up so I just kind of avoided the topic. I probably could have mentioned I had a sister.”

Zhenya gives Sid a somber smile before reaching over to gently touch his hand. “Sid, you think maybe we get out of here? Go somewhere and talk?”

Sid doesn’t even have to think about it. “Yeah,” he nods. “Let’s go.”

Forty minutes later they’re sitting shoulder to shoulder on Zhenya’s back steps, staring out at the dark ocean.

They’re both quiet at first but Sid doesn’t try to fill the silence. He has a feeling Zhenya has something to say so he waits. Sure enough, after a couple of minutes, Zhenya sighs. “I tell you before, I teach in Moscow?”

“At a university, yeah. Botany right?”

“Yes and some biology. Was in good position to get tenure.”

“So why did you leave?” Sid immediately wants to take back the question. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”

Zhenya shakes his head. “Want to answer. I leave because administrator find out I’m have relationship with man and they fire me on the spot.”

“Oh my god. Zhenya, no. I’m so sorry.”

Zhenya won’t look at him. “Man I was with was assistant. I work with him many years and trust him but when they question us, he lies and say I harass him.”

Sid swallows hard and reaches out to take Zhenya’s hand, squeezing gently. “That’s...that’s horrible.”

Zhenya huffs out a humorless laugh. “Feel so stupid, you know, think maybe could love this man but he’s willing to lie. If he tell truth, we would be lucky, they just fire us both. But if he say I harass him? They tell police and I’m in big trouble. In Russia, this kind of thing mean bad punishment. I hide in my parents house for couple of days but my brother, he doesn’t like me being there. Think I’m disgusting person and threaten to call police on me if I’m not leave. What choice I’m have? I pack up and leave country.”

“Zhenya…” Sid is speechless. He’d always assumed there was something in Zhenya’s past that made him look the way he did anytime they mentioned family but this is worse than he ever suspected.

Zhenya squeezes his hand, though, and looks over at Sid with a hint of a smile. “I guess is why I kind of have hard time trust people now.”

“Of course it is.”

“I leave Moscow, come to New York, meet guys but everything there so fast, so hard to find kind of relationship I’m looking for. I start to think maybe is not meant to happen for me but then I read about the Keys. Tropical paradise where everyone accept you, not have to hide who you are. So I come here and first day I meet you. Feels like a dream, you know?”

Sid ducks his head, suddenly feeling more shy than ever but Zhenya reaches over and uses his fingers to gently tip Sid’s chin up. “Hey. Want to tell you how sorry I am for way I act, for making assumption and not giving you chance you deserve.”

“It’s okay. Anyone in your shoes would have done the same thing.”

“Like you a lot, Sid. But need you to know, I’m not kind of guy who can do one night stand or friend with benefits. I’m want more and don’t want to start something with you if that not what you want, too.”

“Zhenya, that’s all I want.”

Zhenya smiles and his expression is full of hope. “Sure?”

“Completely sure.”

Zhenya leans in close as he says softly. “Then maybe we try. Sid, would like to go out with me sometime?”

“I’d really like that,” he says with a smile and closes the gap.

 


End file.
